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‘I Can’t Be Racist Because My Best Friend Is Black and Lives in the Condo I Own’ Is the Whitest Thing I’ve Ever Heard This Week

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As knowledgeable observer, curator, interpreter, documentarian and even occasional appreciator of blatant and reckless acts of shameless whiteness, I’ve seen and examine sufficient varieties of aggressively white habits now to final 5 lifetimes. Significantly in regard to racism (anti-blackness, particularly). I’m like an previous and fats NBA level guard who’s capable of keep within the league as a result of he’s seen each protection and ran each play and has changed quickness and leaping skill with guile and old-ass uncle power. Principally, on the subject of racism, I’m Raymond Felton.

Due to this expertise, I’ve turn out to be a little bit of a racism foodie. Certain, I respect a great and easy “nigger” each every so often (kinda like a no-frills steak and eggs breakfast), however what actually makes my soul sing are unearthed gems of bigotry and beforehand undiscovered artifacts of racial animus. And even higher, no frills-hate with a inventive twist. Like omelettes … with peanut butter! Or a milkshake … with couscous! And I thank New Jersey high school referee Ernie Lunardelli for offering me this deal with.

Lunardelli and his son Anthony walked off of the sphere of a recreation they have been imagined to be working Friday night time as a result of 4 gamers from one of many excessive colleges knelt in the course of the nationwide anthem.

When interviewed by NJ.com, Lunardelli gave his rationale:

“Whoever is disrespecting that flag and the nationwide anthem, that’s who I’ve an issue with,” Lunardelli stated. “That’s my protest. I don’t care if it’s a child, if it’s an 80-year-old man, anyone. I don’t care. Any race, colour, I don’t care who it’s. It’s not the way in which I used to be introduced up and it pisses me off that individuals are doing that.”

After all, each Lunardelli’s act and his rationalization are clear “Make America Nice Once more” canine whistles. It’s him signaling, “I’m not one in every of them. I’m one in every of you” to the kind of individuals who respect that kind of acknowledgement. The actual enjoyable, nevertheless, began when NJ.com dug into Lunardelli’s social media history and located him exhibiting some fairly commonplace no-frills racism.

On a Fb submit from Jan. 21 exhibiting an image of President Barack Obama and First Girl Michelle Obama, Ernie Lunardelli wrote: “Yea! Thanks for f***ing up the nation!! Again to the zoo!!”

After all, Lunardelli denied writing any of this, claiming he was hacked. However his rationale? Holy fucking shit. I wish to bronze it and show it on the Louvre. I wish to drink its milkshake. He stated:

I’m not a racist. My greatest buddy is black. He lives within the rental I personal in North Brunswick.

N4r79onuvelbeKKKKKwkefrkkkrbulbwewrby!!!!!

We’ve all heard “My greatest buddy is black” earlier than. The “black greatest buddy” is so previous hat that I feel it’s actually simply an previous nigga named “Hat” that white individuals flow into when essential like a regifted fruitcake. However “He lives within the rental I personal” is a few ambitious-ass hate because it implies black particular person residing on land he owns absolves him of racism—a loophole that, if true, would additionally absolve actually each plantation proprietor, Donald Trump, Donald Sterling, Scrooge McDuck and, nicely, America. This nigga pulled an America! Nobody pulls an America! Besides, after all, America! (And Nice Britain and France too, I assume.)

Anyway, thanks, Ernie Lunardelli, for my cookies-and-couscous shake. I wouldn’t fairly name it scrumptious, however it positive is attention-grabbing!

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